I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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