It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
