Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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