Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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