I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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