A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize