Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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