I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
