God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
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Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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