Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
