You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
