I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
