I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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