just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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