I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
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He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
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Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize