I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
