some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
