At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you had me at cake vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize