Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
