Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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