well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
