Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
