At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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