i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
