after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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