u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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