Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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