Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
