May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
