good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
