Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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