you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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