So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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