so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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