Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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