Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
