I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
