I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
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They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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