well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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