We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
