your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
