So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
