Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
