i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
