it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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