O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He has the fingertips of a God
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
