I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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