We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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