If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
