Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
