you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
