There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
