Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
