he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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