i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
