im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
