Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
