So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
