I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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