exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
my god I love twenty year old dicks
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
