my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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