i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
